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January
16th, 1635.
Maties, we were
sailing east from Tortuga, towards San Juan, when me lookout informs
me thar's a fleet on the horizon. So we sails on over and encounters
a couple 'o Spanish Brigs, a Sloop, and an escorting Frigate. Well
me hearties, bein' like any other theiv'n bastids, we decides ta
relieve those Spanish buggers of thar burden. I gives tha order ta
switch to chain-shot so's we can slow 'em down a lil'. Wasn't long
before we engaged the lead vessel, and me gunners made a fine job o'
stopping tha don's in their tracks.
The other Brig
decides to take it upon 'imself ta give me a taste 'o me own
medicine! As ye can imagine, ol Coggy be a little irate at dis -
especially when the swines hit me wit a nasty broadside causing me
fine vessel ta catch fire!
Now I can tell
yew, tis not a pretty sight when yer ship burns around ye. And we
could hear tha dons rub salt into tha wound when they gave a hearty
cheer.
So lads, 'ere I
wus, on me first voyage outta Tortuga, and me brand new ship be
heading for the locker after just ONE lucky broadside! Ta sey I wus
pissed is an understatement.
Anyway, I
decides if'n I's gonna go swimmin' - those Spanish swines 'r gonna
go wit us.
Now as luck
would have it, tha Cap'n 'o the Sloop weren't much 'o a seaman, cos
tha blaggard had collided wit one 'o tha Brigs and tha two ships
were grappled together. So I tells me men ta ferget bout our lil'
fire fer now, and get 'emselves ready fer a jig wit tha dons. Within
a minute, we had swung about 'n were headed fer tha two stricken
ships. Well, tha cheerin' Spanish sailors soon ceased thar merry
chorus when they see's me burning ship headin' straight fer 'em!
Now twas me
mens' turn ta start tha cheerin'
Wasn't long
before me ship introduced itself to tha panicking greaseballs, and
let me tell ye, twas a fine sight indeed as me lads poured onto tha
deck 'n began tha fore mentioned jig 'o death.
All three ships
were burning now, and Mister Spanish Captain must have wished he'd
stayed in port that day when 'e witnessed 'is poor men put to tha
sword as his beloved ship burned ta death.
All said 'n
done, tha buggers hoisted thar colours and me men waited fer the
order to begin lootin'.
Well, as ye
know, me ship too was an inferno, so instead 'o lootin' I gets tha
idea 'o try'n ta save our scurvy hides.
I tells me men
ta ungrapple from tha ex-don vessels 'n head fer tha bleedin'
Frigate who wus limpin' away from tha melee after her run-in wit me
chain-shot.
Now maties, we
all know dat when yer ship be on fire ye aint got time ta spit, so's
I orders me scurvy buggers ta be quick bout it else we be swimmin'
wit sharks.
After a tense
few minutes, we finally catches tha yellerbellies 'n boards her. I's
hopin' me burning boat 'ill refrain from setting alight dis 'ere
warship else we be sharin' tha sea bed wit me foes.
Ol' Neptune
surely smiled on us dis day, cos tha greaseballs were more'n eager
ta hoist thar colours 'n as me ship began to sink, I just about got
most 'o me men and loot over to our new home before me hardy Sloop
went down.
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So, thar we wus
- stuck in tha middle 'o tha ocean wit a newly acquired Frigate. We
watched as the other two ships joined me former vessel on thar trip
to tha bottom and then I swings about 'n blasts the crap 'o the lil'
Sloop 'afore leavin' the debris strewn water far behind me...
Well me
hearties, I 'ad ney more'n a dozen marines left, wit a handful 'o
sailors. So I tells me motley bastids ta head fer St. Kitts to
recruit us some more.
Twas a 'ell of
a start to me new career. But wus fun, and I's lookin' forward to
many more adventures along the Spanish Main...
Cap'n Cognito,
16th day 'o January, 1635.
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